Navigating Grief: Why There’s No ‘Right’ Way to Heal After a Loss

Grief is a strange, unwelcome visitor. It doesn’t ring the doorbell. It doesn’t follow a schedule. One moment you might be fine, and the next, a wave of sadness washes over you, triggered by a song, a scent, or a simple memory. 🌊

Society often hands us an unwritten rulebook on how to heal after a loss. “Be strong,” they say. “Time heals all wounds,” they promise. You might have heard about the “5 stages of grief” and feel like you’re failing the test because your experience is messy, chaotic, and certainly not linear.

Let’s tear up that rulebook right now.

The single most important thing you need to know about navigating grief is this: Your journey is your own. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Your heart will heal on its own timeline, in its own unique way.

The Myth of the “Stages of Grief” 🤫

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. These famous stages were originally observed in people facing a terminal illness, not people who had lost a loved one. They were never meant to be a neat checklist.

Grief is more like a fingerprint—completely unique to you. It can be a chaotic storm of emotions that come and go without warning.

What Grief Actually Feels Like (It’s All Valid)

Your grief might look like…

• Anger 😠: At the world, at the situation, maybe even at the person you lost.
• Numbness 🌫️: Feeling completely empty and disconnected from everything.
• Overwhelming Sadness 😭: Crying at unexpected moments.
• Guilt: Replaying “what ifs” and “if onlys” in your mind.
• Anxiety & Fear: Worrying about the future without your loved one.
• Moments of Joy & Laughter 😄: And then maybe feeling guilty for feeling happy for a moment.

All of it. Every single confusing, contradictory feeling is a normal part of grieving.

Gentle Ways for Coping With Grief

You don’t have to “fix” your grief. The goal is simply to learn how to carry it. Here are a few gentle ways to support yourself.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel… Everything

Your feelings are not the enemy. When a wave of sadness or anger comes, don’t push it away. Find a safe space, let the tears fall, punch a pillow. Giving the emotion space to exist is what allows it to eventually pass.

2. Create Small Rituals of Remembrance

Honoring your loss can be a comforting part of healing.

• Light a candle on a special day 🕯️.
• Cook their favorite meal.
• Listen to a song that reminds you of them 🎶. These small acts can feel like a warm, comforting hug for your heart.

3. Lean on Your “Safe People”

You don’t need to talk to everyone, but find one or two people who will just listen without trying to “fix” you. Someone who can just sit with you in your sadness without saying a word.

4. Be Patient With Your Body

Grief is exhausting. It’s a full-body experience. Allow yourself extra rest. Say no to social events if you don’t have the energy. Your body is doing the hard work of healing, too. 😴

The Power of Speaking Their Name

Sometimes, the world around us becomes quiet about our loss because they’re afraid to upset us. But often, the most healing thing is to simply talk about the person you lost, to share a memory, to speak their name out loud.

This is where a supportive listening session can be so powerful. At OREYORU Vent Out, we provide a safe, confidential space to do just that. It’s a place where you can talk freely about your grief and loss support needs, share your story, and have your feelings witnessed with compassion and without judgment.

Navigating grief is not a journey you have to take in silence.